Is it fair to be dark?

I was taking a bus ride this morning when I happened to notice a girl in the first rows of the bus. She was not ugly, but she was dark. And her features weren't dusky to go with the skin. Somehow the dark skin was a mismatch. She might have even made it as cute with fair skin. I suddenly realised I was staring and quickly shifted my eyes away, but my mind din't.

A little thought and it will occur to us how much we as "intelligent animals" give to looks, or to what we see, more generally. Whether ideas about colour, appearances, and such things are developed due to environmental influences, or whether they are natural it is difficult to say. I don't talk here in general about the whole human race, I talk of a much smaller set, the set of people I know and have come in contact with, whose average mental tendencies will I'm sure be a reasonable match to those any (Indian) 21 year old would know.

Let me first get to this skin colour issue. At a few points in this text, one must pause to ask oneself some of these questions. I'm sure some of the answers will be positive. How many times have you or people around you made a quick note of a person (a)if his/her skin colour was dark (b) fair? Some may make an unconscious note to remember the name or a certain detail about the fairer person, and some others may remember the darker simply because he was so. Ofcourse this is a very artificial situation most won't come across in the same form, so it may be difficult to identify with. We as Indians have a tendency to look up to fair skin and if not look down, not consider specially those with dark skin. I would like to quickly add that this again does not go true for everybody, and there are I'm sure a lot of people who make a conscious effort to avoid this - which is very good.

Lets put ourselves in some more situations. Lets add some common "turn offs". Say you have to meet a person to ask a doubt, say with your class assignment, and you have to choose by asking each of these people non-technical questions. Person A looks smart, fair, handsome or beautiful, person B is plain, dark, and doesn't speak very fluent English. (the English language - another "value adding" aspect we'll look at later.) A non-technical question would obviosuly test to a greater degree the persons social skills, and although you know very well that you cannot decide on this basis who the better person is to answer a query, more and more meetings with these people, will subconsciously make you lean to A, the smarter, crisper, and fairer individual. Again, exceptions exist, and I don't intend to generalize too much, but it is a good idea to search oneself for even a hint of such emotions.

Now, this issue is more prominent with the opposite sex, and then, even more in the guy looking at girl direction. I am told women do not associate so much importance to appearances - instinctively. When a person looks at another of the opposite gender, although completely unintentional, the instincts act a little bit, and it is difficult to look at the person with a blank mind. And since for a complete stranger, looks are the only thing that can be seen, they do contribute to a first impression. And there, fair wins over dark. It takes a dark girl very very pretty and symmetric features to be called pretty, but fair skin compensates a lot for features that leave a lot to be desired. Just imagine some (fair) attractive faces with dark skin and some (dark) unattractive or plain faces with fair skin, and you'll see what I mean.

So thats about the colour thing. Now I'll spend some time on more of these "first impression" creating things. An example. I have a friend, and the first thing he does when he hears about or sees a new person or profile, is note the surname. This person has agreed to considering a person for a job (in a hypothetical situation) because he was a brahmin, and not considering the other because he belonged to a reserved category, or was a non brahmin. It was quite a shock to me that people of my generation and even my age think this way, but I'm sure there are many others who think like this too. And there's nothing conscious about it. It has been imbibed so deeply in the system that its gut reaction.

Howevermuch you deny the existence of these biases, each and every one of us has our rules. We "gauge" people, and we can't do so unless we have a benchmarking system. We have ideals and we compare. Its the most natural thing to do - to understand something you connect it and compare it with something you know and understand. A person who's learned all his distances in kilometers will for a while atleast convert from miles till he/she gets a hang of what the mile "feels" like. These biases have to systematically looked at and eliminated from the regular thought process. After all, you could've been born fair or dark, cute or ugly, smart or dull, and its to a large degree a random process (not considering all the genetics stuff). So since its not really a fair game, it is everybody's right to be given a fair (sorry thats how the words are, even the language itself seems colour-biased) chance. Oh yes about English, learn to speak good English - it is something that you can effect and unless you are in oriental lands, something that a lot of people will still keep using to "place" you. Its not fair to be made dark, but you gotta kick yourself if you don't wanna fix what you can.

The Drive

It was over four hours since we set out, and beginning to get boring. All signs of a conversation had died, and words seemed far and few. Even the road offered no surprises as the two martinis on the dash stayed still. She could feel it too. It was tiring and the long stretches of gray dotted with green offered no respite. I had lost all sense of destination and with every new mile the road seemed to lead more and more towards nowhere.

The first stop was exciting and held a lot of promise. Expectation was fresh and we drank it with joy. Little was I aware that four hours down the road would get so dreary and dead. It was almost unimaginable then. But raods can twist and turn, sharper than the sharpest bends you'd ever dream of, and then, the martinis hadn't even shook yet.

For a while the tarmac was straight and steady, smooth and fluid, and we looked at each other more often than we looked at the road that lay ahead. Much more. A little too much. But luck was on our side and we avoided all the trafic without much effort. That was when the first stop came. The one that held promise. Promise. Seems like a word too ideal for this world. What do little minds know of the future but. If every man's sails caught the wind, there wouldn't be a drive.

The slick roads gave way to some dirt tracks for a short while. But my wheels were built to take them. We struggled across many patches of wet and deep, almost having to push at times, but got out nevertheless. We still looked at each other with fondness, and the courage of silken paths aheads. Courage though was starting to turn to hope and the silk was starting to show moth holes. The fourth hour was nearing. The third round of martinis stood on the dash.

It was over four hours now, and beginning to get boring. All signs of a conversation had died, and words seemed far and few. Even the road offered no surprises as the fourth round of martinis on the dash stayed still. This time still they stayed. She could feel it too. The road was lost and the grays and greens were blending into a color unknown. Everything around seemed reason enough to stop. The martinis were giving me hope yet.

Five hours. Fifth round of martinis. This time they spilt. One rapid turn. The door swung open and I hit a boulder. My car wouldn't start again. I left it all. The longing to look back. I walked and kept walking. Hoping for the hope of a new ride. A new drive.